Alternative POIS Forum

They do this at the same time as, and partly
through
, openly or unconsciously reacting to thechild's intense sexual energy, either pushing it away or encouraging it - often both at once!One powerful way of describing all this is to use Freud's term, the 'Oedipus Complex'. Thisfocuses on the issues of power, possession and jealousy in the classic nuclear family. Itdescribes very real events, though in a way that does not sufficiently question genderstereotyping or bring out the underlying issues of social conformity. This is the point at whichthe child is about to emerge into the social world; its acceptance of gender conventions, andall the subtle seductions and abuses which they imply, is the price of entry.It's no surprise that a child faced with these vast ramifications, with this elaboratecombination of carrot and big stick, will generally react with some degree of panic. The coreof this will be what we can describe as 'biological' panic, a response to the opening-up of energy that accompanies the 'first puberty' at around five or six. This involves an increase incharge, similar to that of the teenage 'second puberty', of which anyone will be aware who isaround young children with open eyes.Surrender to pleasure, to the streaming of energy in our bodies, is for almost all of usaccompanied by anxiety and fear. We want to open, yet are desperately scared to, Instead wereact with some version of freezing or exploding, fighting or fleeing, under- or over-activity;with a frantically erotic style of being (the yearning block) or with retreat, denial of sexualfeeling altogether.For a very large number of children, this natural response gets very much amplified by theinterference of
adult
sexuality. The innocent erotic energy of children at this age can producesexual excitement in a lot of grown-ups whose own sexual development has been damaged.We are finding out in this decade just how many children have been sexually abused byadults, often during this first puberty but sometimes much earlier. The natural anxiety of opening-up then becomes a fully-fledged panic, as the, child is forced to deal withexperiences that are wholly inappropriate for them.This adult invasion can take very subtle forms as well: it is often an atmosphere of flirting andseductiveness, rather than any overt physical act. The child knows in her bodymind what isgoing on, but has no way of verbalising it even to herself. Both physical and emotionalinterference plug into the general sexual violence' of the situation - the child is beingpressurised in many ways to fit his or her erotic energy into the straitjacket of sociallyaccepted gender roles.The 'crisis character' is a component in all of us, though usually stronger in those who havehad to deal with a heavier dose of sexual abuse, physical or emotional (the holding andboundary positions seem the other response to abuse). As we have said, its main tactics arefreezing or exploding - opposite ways of trying to flee an intolerable excitementThese responses generally get submerged in children. After the flurry of sexual charge andinterest at about five, six or seven, they enter a 'latent phase' of apparent asexuality (in ourculture at least) until puberty recurs in the form of physical sexual maturity. But the sexualattitudes which then emerge are essentially
re
-emerging: they were formed during the 'firstpuberty', on the basis of how the child's already existing character armour confronted the issueof pelvic opening in the context of adult sexual pressure